Sunday, May 23, 2010

dimelo...

For all of you non-honorary latinas, "dimelo" is an amazing song by or should I say "por" Enrique Iglesias a.k.a el amor de todos las chicas en la casa de espanol, aqui en el FLSR:) bien hecho, Julie. Gracias.

Ok: don't worry. I'm merely congratulating myself for speaking such amazingly native spanish haha.

On a different note, I really want a great camera. Not just a point and click (though that's where my photography abilities currently reside). Today, I took photos for the apartment next door and it really gave me a taste of my alter-ego/persona as a photographer. I mean, ya should have seen how the elements were in my command. I pushed to button, zoomed in and out like a pro... not many people can say the same...

anyway, one day. i want OH MY GOSH- my room mate just sneezed the most gigantic sneeze right next to me as I'm sitting here typing. Not joking people- that thing probably had enough power behind it to fuel a third world country, like Oklahoma or something.

Moving on. I just gave my first legit talk in Church today. I went super bien and now I'm addicted. You all know how much I like talking;) kidding, Bishop, kidding- not that you'd be reading my blog but, on the off chance- I don't want to give you any over-the-top ideas!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Bridal Showers...

I went to another Bridal shower this past month or so. I think they're getting more and more frequent... what's that supposed to mean? Seriously, my May is packed with back-to-back receptions, etc:)

Well, as you know, something interesting must have happened or I wouldn't be writing about it.

I LEARNED.

no... really.

oh, boy.

Some gifts were very nice (a kitchen mixer)... Others were cute and thoughtful (a beach bag of essentials)... and the other others were just makin me wish single people could have their own bridal shower and the married girls could take the bride under their wings for a SEPERATE, but equal, party much, much later. I mean- must I learn so much, so soon? Take me out, Coach... take me out.

Speaking of which... The "taking out" part, that is. If you happen to be the boy that I like (let me rephrase that: ONE of the guys I may or may not have a crush on), you should stop reading about my life and just be in it for realsies, already! You only have a short time left before you'll have to miss me for 18 months- I'm going on a MISSION! Too forward? You're right... I am a pretty big traditionalist so, I'll just keep playing to awkward get-to-know-you game until I run out of questions that jog your brain about how perfect we could be together. Stinkin' Taylor Swift.

The last month...

Foreign Language Housing-
It's only the greatest thing since ummm... alright, I'm supposed to have something really cool here. Something better the the usual "sliced bread" slogan. But, I'll be honest. nothing's really coming to me right now.

Anyway, I love this place. I get to speak Spanish 24/7, have dinner with an "inst-Family" basically every night, and socialize like the butterfly I was born to be! At school, I keep wanting to talk to regular people in espanol and it's starting to mess with my mind that not everyone will understand me.

Also, I've been taking some pretty amazing photos of all of our exploits.
1. Pranks- so far Megan, Joy, and Camilla have been the victims. Emily and I covalently bonded by pouring freezing cold water on Meg last weekend. She got me back- don't worry. Next, we put gummy worms dipped in chocolate pudding (like dirt/mud) on the floor of the shower... it was a nice morning sorpesa for Camilla! And last but, not least... THE ALARM CLOCKS!!! We hid a couple of clocks under Joy and Megan's beds. They went off at 3am:) sweet dreams chicas.

2. Seven Wonders of Provo- We dressed up in black shirts and blue jeans, hats, game-day makeup, and million dollar smiles. Yes. it was quite a wonder. Moving on, we saw the Obelisk, Totem pole, Cougar Statue, Ripple's Lemonade Stand, King kong cone Macey's place, Creepy Ampitheater, and finally, the Amazing weeping Willow tree. as a side note, you should also know that we flagged down a random man who was conveniently attractive (no, this is not the first time) outside the cougar statue stadium. He thought we needed car help but, we really just someone to take a picture for us... HA! Last time this happened, I got a date and my own recording of a song out of my strangely innate hitchhiking abilities- this time was just normal:)

3. Salsa dancing- goodness me. Or should I say, goodness of my dance partner. I am telling you- how did I not know Latin Dancing was so fun until now? And where did my hips come from? It's like I suddenly understand stepping in rhythm and not just bobbing sideways. Man, I wish I were latina! But, the good news is that I saw a picture of myself today and I think all of the Spanish has had quite an influence on me- I barely recognized myself. I think I might be able to pass as an Argentinean. Cuz, these hips don't lie and my hoop earrings are about to be worn for the first time.

Ciaosito/Besos, all that good stuff.
Dulce,
La Guapa

Monday, April 12, 2010

bittersweet...

So, I don't know about anyone else but, I seem to have a curse. I start and end each semester with a cold sore. It's perfect timing, too. I mean, who wouldn't want to introduce themselves to new people from class and church with a giant LANDMINE on their face?! Needless to say, my confidence to continue life, despite my lack of genetic lottery winnings, must be what attracts bees to the honey... and the fact that I like to talk to people, especially good looking guys at school, in an Australian accent allows people to see past my leprosy, and daydream about our future together, scuba diving the reefs of Sydney or Brisbane. This is not a joke, people. I speak only the truth when I tell you that the cute, dreamy, and perfectly tall security guard who lets me in on Tuesdays at the office, has a crush on me because of my accent! We got to talking one day and it was love at first Barby (short for a BBQ from down under). But, what do you know- it's the end of the semester. Therefore, my body decides it's time to hate me again and stress out about upcoming finals, WITHOUT TELLING ME! Alright, it does tell me. To keep with tradition.... Enter: Cold Sore.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Secret Garden

Don't judge me too harshly but, I'm hanging out in the Girls' Room right now. Why? Because it's amazingly quiet (other than the occasional awkward patron or two), has comfy chairs, and an electrical outlet for my computer! I was just talking on the phone though, and my brother asked me a funny question. So naturally, as I was giving some kind of relevant but, heinous response, a normal and quiet, leaning toward the boring side of the spectrum, kind of girl walked in and scowled at me. But, not that open, evident type of scowl. No. This was the kind of facial expression that's hidden behind a halfsy smile.

Well, you know what, normal/quiet/boring bathroom girl? I have a life outside this washroom as well! And I'm not afraid to show it- JUST READ MY BLOG!!!!

So, as I was saying. My brother asked me some question and I was replying. Then she left. And I had peace again. Now, it's my turn to pass on the scowl/judgement expression. Because, in walked a couple of girls rehearsing a dance to Beyonce's "Single Ladies." I even volunteered my speakers to help them practice to the real song instead of just humming it self consciously to themselves. They thought I wouldn't understand that what happens in the Girls' Room, doesn't need to be explained or excused. Little did they know, single ladies, little do you know.

For any guy reading this-
Disregard this entire post. I was kidding. It's not like I really hang out, relaxing in the Restrooms. That's crazy talk. ha.... ahem. I think I should stop now. Another girl just walked in and she'll wonder why I'm laughing to myself. I'll just tell her it's because the acoustics in here are so nice and it's fun to here my voice echo pleasantly.

It's all about Natural Lighting

Have you ever just had a photo shoot with friends? no one else? rats. I thought that be a real ice breaker for us all. ya know, like "what's your favorite pose?" or if you're more of a cheesy pick up lines kind of guy, one might say, "you look like someone I'd like to set my aperture to." right? anyway, my friends and I have appreciation nights together. We all celebrate where we each come from- Georgia, Hawaii, D.C, Southern California, etc. It's great. A while back, it was my turn so I figured why not pretend the paparazzi is after us and dress up for a TON of photos?!

Of course it was phenomenal. Need you seriously ask? And since we've previously talked about our love (okay FINE, my dedication) to Lady Gaga, we had her song, "Paparazzi" playing in the background to set the diva/ obviously high fashion mood. Well, to be honest, that's not really true. In reality, we were on the top floor of the library, dressed from school casual to prom dress attire. AND, the real kicker is that I'm only capable of posing with two kinds of faces: Happy smile and goofy. My friend kept saying, "be serious" or "be flirty" but, all I could do was laugh! But, at least I was laughing only SEMI- uproariously. I mean, after all, we were in a quiet library. And the engaged couple next to us was worried we'd somehow upstage their wedding announcements. I'm sure of it because I was rockin' some high heels that night.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Cousin Bonding Time...

"Just Makin' Memories..."
Can I just tell you guys (and by that last plural, I mean my three favorite followers in the whole world), that I have been waiting to be alpha cousin for 20 years? The day has finally come. Both of the boys my age are gone on missions, so I'm the oldest one left a.k.a FAVORITE:) we'll just pretend that's not the only reason, though. Perhaps, it's my ridiculously good looks as well.

A common familial term. Whenever we get together, we talk to Grandma and Grandpa, Aunts and Uncles, and Parents. But, when it comes to Family Reunions and dinners together... We're immediately downstairs in the basement "makin' memories."

Last night, we watched Back to the Future for the first time. Oh, Biff...

It's so sweet. Can't wait to watch the sequel and threequel! No, Steve, I will not watch End Dead with you. No matter how good a "B" movie might seem at 3am!

Anyway, I love my fam. They're the bomb dot com.

Friday, March 19, 2010

voice recognition systems

We'll all know what they are.

robot voice on the other end of your phone call (from here on out I'll use a more technical term- "the robot"): "If you'd like to pay your bill over the phone, please say yes. If you'd like to hear more options, say no."

me: "yes."

the robot: "I'm sorry, please say that again."

me: "Yes."

the robot: "Please repeat. Would you like to pay your bill now?"

me: "YES!!!! yes. Si. Da. Oui, oui. all that jazz- just LET ME PAY!"

the robot: "Thank you for choosing to pay now. We accept visa or mastercard."

me: "Mastercard."

the robot: "I'm sorry. What card will you use?"

me: "For crying out loud- there are only two choices. They sound nothing alike. MASTERCARD!"

the robot: "Thank you for choosing to upgrade our services. You will now be charged an additional fee for the ultimate cable/phone package. Please hold while we transfer you to one of our customer service representatives..."

me: you've gotta be kidding me, right now. nevermind. (click)

We've all had these kinds of conversations, yeah? Talking with the fake operators and speech recognition systems is a joke. But, who am I to critique thriving businesses? I mean, they are thriving. I'd organize a Ghandi-like sit-in, but then, the other protesters would want to keep occupied by watching T.V. and since you just witnessed me get upgraded unwillingly, I'd have to share my new and improved channel package.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

expertise

What makes one an expert on something? Is it when they've spent 10,000 hours on it? Once they can start using their knowledge of it in other aspects of life? Or when they finally just learn a little ditty about it and are able to convince someone that they know what they're talking about? For instance, What makes you skin pruney?

According to my good friend, it's due to the fact that your body wants to equalize water pressure and therefore your skin's pores expand and then comes pruniness... to use the specific/intelligent/scientific terminology. Oh, she's good. Just like how Plato knows that what makes a chair a chair is its "chairness," duh! I guess one day we'll find out the ins and outs of all of these need-to-know-because-they-are-super-important things! Have you ever noticed how hard it is to write long-winded hyphenated words? be jealous. 'til next time.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

dear john...

Dear John,
I know we spent a great 101 minutes together and I'll never forget what your face looks like lit up on the big screen, but I just have to say it outright. Channing Tatum, welcome to the major leagues. anyone with two x chromosomes recognizes that you are a godsend to this film:) WHAT!? you decided to be in a movie where ya don't even bust one little, baby-tiny dance move! I just don't know what to do with myself right now. Only last night, you were giving into the acting side of you. Maybe only a smidgeon but, acting nonetheless. I saw three, count them THREE, different emotions cross your face: anger, indifference, AND sadness... this is all so much, Mr. Tatum. You're makin' momma too proud.

but, Do you know what I couldn't stop thinking about the whole time? Fake Crying. That's right. Your crying scene really got to me. Ya see... I've been working on fake crying (we'll nickname it "frying") for a week now. I've got to deliver a monologue in my stage dialects class (this is for a serious german accent here, folks). I've never really been into acting before though. Merely, dabbled in it for a couple of ensemble roles. So, I wasn't ready to get my emotional groovy down in front of other people yet to really connect personally via my own sad feelings in order to produce a true tear. In other words, I don't know how to think of devastating things that have happened to me in the past and cry over them on demand. Therefore, I studied to art and science of "frying" by an external method, i.e. making your body react to produce a tear. All you have to do is rub your eyes, open them, and then don't blink. Even when they start burning like salty ocean water on freshly shaven legs (Don't even try to tell me that you guys haven't shaved and then gotten into a jacuzzi or some other uncharted body of water and then NOT had to make a rather odd and loud exclamation about the weather in order to cover up how badly you wanted to howl in discomfort!) But, I digress. We were discussing a ridiculous amount of eye burning sensation. (and not the Edward Cullen kind, either, for all of you creepy/obsessive Twilight fans out there- none of this "smoldering eye" business haha). This is the real deal. The penultimate awkward, lazy eye/twitching/head rolling back kind of concentration in order to not give in to the one thing you. want. most.

TO BLINK.

And then, when you finally make it over the hump of self coercion to not blink, your body has tried to compensate for its lack of necessary eye moisture and there's suddenly enough water gathered in your eyes to make it look teary and sad. Then you can blink once and a big tear will fall down your cheeks. It doesn't look contrived or cornea either. I'm sorry did I say "cornea" instead of corny? I couldn't resist. You had to "see" that one coming right? Okay, really, I've got to stop cracking these vision jokes. They're not funny anymore.

Channing/John did a good job in this movie and Amanda Seyfried was beautiful and friendly as always. Haha, it is a little over-the-top at times but, the general effect is nice... don't worry guys, you might even like "Dear John," too.

Welp, see ya later!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Blind Dates...

I lied. We were supposed to talk about parkour/freerunning... but, I came across something in dire need of reviewing. I mean, Parkour speaks for itself. It's an amazing real life spiderman workout for your entire body and when you tell people you are into that sort of thing, they are immediately interested in learning more- perfect conversation started and it keeps you in shape:) It's basically running but, the whole time you use urban structures like walls, parking buildings, and fences to do jumps, flips, jungle gym/agility exercises, etc. I stayed up really late one night learning all about it and watching "how to" videos on youtube. Go there if you'd like to work your way in to the freerunning scene and there are also websites about other freerunning groups in your area if you want some buddies to get you started!!

So, back to the task at hand. Blind dates. I just went on my first one last night. What do you guys think of them? I didn't know what to expect so I googled how blind dates are supposed to go and according to askmen.com, mine was not only blind but severely handicapped as well...

Facts:
I'm a relatively taller girl (5'8") so I like tall men (around 6' or more). Unfortunately, my guy (we'll call him Ben) was 5'10" so, I reluctantly realized that my perfect five inch heels that I like to be able to wear on Sundays, would be a "no go" with him:( He did smell REALLY good though, so we'll give Ben some bonus points!

Strike two- He didn't take the lead and seemed unprepared as to where we should eat. He literally asked, "In all of Utah, where would you like to eat? When you see a sign for a place ya like we can just exit the freeway and go there..." I DON'T KNOW where we should go in between where I live and the stadium where we're going to see the basketball game. Plus, I felt pressure that we'd be going along the freeway at like 70+ miles an hour and see something I like, tell him, and he'd be so flustered that we needed to exit suddenly, that we'd crash and die. Luckily, that didn't happen. I tried to let him be the man again by, telling him what I like and letting him decide on a place but, he didn't take the bait. I felt emasculated for him, poor guy. We made it to Cafe Rio just fine.

Conversation is pretty important on a date, yeah? Boy meets girl, they talk, he whisks her away in everything impressive about him. She reciprocates by dropping a line or two about her post-grad thesis work on psychoneuroimmunology and her daily workouts/rockin' bod, and musical talents, etc. Overall, they try to find common ground and agree with each other on most things. Ben missed the memo. Instead, he constantly talked about what a waste everything was. "Why spend money on that, when you can get something LAME for free?" Okay, so that's not exactly what he was saying, but it's what I heard all night. I really want to travel, go to grad school, do fun things, and talk about crazy stuff. Ben shut everything down so eventually, I ran out of things to say. Or rather, gave up trying. Everything I had to say, he said the polar opposite or had no clue what I was talking about. Did the man live under a rock his whole life?
Example conversation:
Me: I just joined a bluegrass band and we've got a gig coming up.
Ben: What's bluegrass? Do you play the ukeleles?
Me: (Internal thought process- "HECK NO! where do you get off?")
Me: Umm, no. Not exactly. It's more like a lighter, hicker version of country.
Ben: Oh. Well, I don't like country.
Me: Oh.............. (pause of like 60 seconds)...... What kind of music do you like?
Ben: Video game soundtracks. Like mario kart or halo and stuff. I like to listen to it at work and it gives a nostalgic feeling.
Me: (Internally- "What the heck do I have to say to that? Shoot.")
Me: Haha, like, this tune reminds me of the day I beat level 9, right?
Ben: Yeah....... (nothing)
Me: Umm. (In a desperate attempt to help Ben feel less weird about his musical tastes, I added...) one time my brother, made a mixed cd with one song from Zelda on it.

NEW TOPIC

Me: Did I mention that my brother's in New York and just got back from Berlin where they're filming a movie? He's way into the entertainment field and acting.
Ben: Why would he ever want to go to Europe?
Me: (I had nothing left to say. Just a thoroughly dropped jaw.)

The straw that broke the camel's back- We had planned to meet up with another couple around 6pm but, they were running a little late with their dinner. Ben didn't want to call or text the other guy to let him know we were there, waiting for them outside the restaurant even after a half an hour because he thought we'd be interrupting a budding love affair. The thing is, he had lied and told the couple that we weren't even there yet, so they probably thought they were waiting for us. While waiting, we went into Staples. In the bathroom, I actually had to call up my padres and get some pump-up, moral support words. Later, he finally texted them and they instantly came out wondering what had taken us so long. Told ya, Ben. The game was great. We won. It was a relief during those two hours that we didn't really have to talk.

Afterwards, was a different story. I decided that I was done digging for conversation topics. So, I let him take a shot and politely nodded and agreed with his words... even when he started attacking the boy scout system as a waste of time. Honestly, I was just so shocked by that one, I didn't have the heart to tell him that he just sounds bitter for not completing his own eagle scout. Sorry dude. In my family, scouting, church service, and higher education are just something you do. No questions asked. Except, if you do ask a question about it, we'll find a way to motivate you back into it. Like getting you a car or something.

Anyway, so we're driving me back home and I can tell he wants to end on a good note. He's working really hard to make better conversation and I go with it. He walks me to the door, say it's nice to meet each other, and I'll tell Erin (the girl who set us up) that he says hi... (right after I ask her how the heck she thought we'd get along in the first place?). and scene. done.

Moral of the story. Be pleasant on a date- worst comes to worse, you get a new friend out of it, if you play your cards right. As my friend says that "It's either a really good date or a really good story!" you pick.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Reviewing.

Alright guys. Let's review what we covered last week. Obviously, there's a test coming up and the syllabus says, "you're screwed."

Anyway, what do we think of Lady Gaga?

Genius. Goddess divine. Sheer perfection. Impossibly fashionable outfits (let's face it, no one has worn hi-cut leotard type clothing since the last season of baywatch but, she works it). I'm not really sure how else to put it. I mean, she studied at NYU, so the girl's educated. She's really from New York but, has managed to make everyone think she's from somewhere amazing in Europe. She produces music up the ying yang. You can always dance or workout to her songs, so you can never be in a bad mood when you listen to her... unless, you're into the whole angry kick-punch dancing like Kevin Bacon's solo in Footloose or that guy in Hot Rod. just sayin'. The only thing that seems to be hindering an even larger fan base is the fact that she loves EVERYONE and her lyrics show it. Well, didn't everyone just ignore the last 15 years of Michael Jackson's life. All anyone seems to remember is how legendary his moves were as the king of pop. So, if you're on the fence about Gaga, let's play a love game and you can go burn some disco sticks in effigy. Now, there's nothing else left to say, eh eh eh eh. And, if you aren't familiar with her songs, let me level with you. go youtube her right now. plus, then you'll be able to appreciate my witty jokes from the last couple sentences:)

Join us next time for "you're not hardcore, unless to live PARKOUR."

peace, love, and lol.
~Julie